As a mom, is it natural for EVERY birthday to be bittersweet? To be so incredibly proud of their achievements and milestones and so incredibly sad that they're "getting so big"?!?
She's TWO now. Two. Years. Old. She still has the tiny chub rolls on her thighs. THAT is how I've justified she's still a baby. My baby. She will always be my baby. Sometimes, I need gentle reminders that it won't last forever...and I try my best to soak up every moment. But let's be real, sometimes it is SO hard to soak up every moment...like the moments when she's throwing temper tantrums in public.
For me, it's becoming easier to forget how quickly time goes by. We have our routine. We enjoy our days together and I definitely enjoy my evenings in solitude or in the company of adults...but I still miss her when she sleeps. I miss her smell. I miss her laugh. I miss having a tiny shadow following me EVERYWHERE. When she wakes up each morning, she's a little bit bigger, a little bit older than the day before and I can never recover time. I am reminded at the end of every day, good or not-so-good, that these first years will not last forever.
For her birthday last year, I made a promise to love myself more so I could love her more.
This year, my birthday wish for her is to soak up every moment, every memory and devote the time I have with her as genuine time together- no distractions.
Happy birthday, Zoey. Mama loves you so "muches" (as Zoey would say).